Friday, April 28, 2006
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A very close friend of mine disappointed me this week. I was so proud of them, they had done things that I am not sure they knew they could. They have so much potential for the job they were doing and for anything they want to do in the future. But some bad decisions and things and I find that I am totally disappointed in them.
When everything happened and I started to find things out I thought that I was angry with them, but as it turns out I wasn’t angry at all just disappointed that they made those decisions. I know that I was available to them to help them with what ever they needed almost any time they needed.
I guess that the fact that I was so proud of what they had done and where they had come from in such a short amount of time made it all feel so much worse. Labels: Friends and Family
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Friday, April 21, 2006
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I grew up in a great family. My one set of grandparents they fell in love early in life, had a family and grew old together. My grandfather died a few years ago, but he died totally in love with my grandmother and I know she loves him to this day.
My other grandparents fell in love early as well. My grandmother died when I was young and I know it almost killed my grandfather. If it wasn't for his family and friends I know it would have. I knew everyday that I saw him that he never went 10 minutes without thinking of my grandmother. I interviewed him once for a school thing, it was after my grandmother had died. I still have his notes. The way he wrote the stories was as if he were reliving them. I think it was hard for him to keep some of them short.
I grew up with them as role models and thinking that is just how it works. My parents are the same way. Me on the other hand. I keep looking for that thing, not sure what it is, but it is what ever my grandparents had when they looked at one another.
One of the last conversations I ever had with my Grandpa Wayne, he told me that he was scared that my Grandmother would die before him and that he didn't know what he would do if that happened. He looked at me and I saw for the first time ever fear in his eyes. I will never forget that look as long as I live. I felt his fear at that moment and why he was so scared. She was the center of his life. That is a great and powerful thing.
I guess in the end what I've been looking for is that feeling. I have met some very special people over my life. If I ever met someone that is that special my life would be complete. Maybe that is to high a goal now days. But that is the mark that I feel I have to hit.
The reason for war, music and so many other things in the world are either lust or in the quest of love or now day money. But I like to keep it romantic. :)Labels: Friends and Family
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